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    CNQ

    Four Poems
    by Suzannah Showler

    0
    By CNQ Team on September 22, 2017 Poetry

    Self-Portrait With iPhone

    Touch a picture
    of a waste basket
    for forgetfulness.
    A gear when you
    want to change
    your fate. This
    isn’t mechanical,
    but if the tooth
    fits, there’s a bite.
    I can drag boxes
    from the centre, swipe
    to bring on a quick
    cascade of the new.
    Each moment
    arrives like a group
    hug, a float in a parade.
    My best dick pic
    is a panorama,
    frames feathered
    across the screen.
    Nothing to see. No
    thing to see here.

     

    Self Portrait As Note To Self

    Don’t come back.

     

    Hashtag No Filter

    The sunset barfs all over
    you, says you deserve

    the gilding you get,
    as if you were built

    with a future longing
    for this moment in mind.

    The light will take back
    what it says about you,

    and you know it, but still
    you stay here now, cash in

    on the free, all-access
    trial pass to beauty.

    Birds gather in perfect
    mall-swarm formation,

    and clouds grind up
    on the horizon, trying

    to stoke one last boner
    from the sun. Everything

    is so crowded with distance.
    And you’re there, you’re right

    up in it, thick-covered
    with the experience of being

    here, dragging the saturation
    dial, feeling for the limit.

     

    Turn

    The alleys wider than the houses they shadow
    keep turning up colours charitably described
    as muted. Meaning, they aren’t talking to you
    anymore. It’s hard to stop thinking of yourself

    as a fuck-up, wondering whether the plot may
    turn more interesting with, say, a few sobbing
    parties for a chorus. Or more nights you follow,
    maybe even join, as they sneak into the new

    day’s abandoned warehouse. You, too, could
    be a part of some crowd of people swimming
    through good lighting, looking for themselves
    to turn into something new. Have you noticed

    how it’s always the same, every city patterned
    by shadows and colours you forget to look at
    after a while? Turns out, you don’t ever get too
    far from yourself, and once you’ve seen a thing,

    the only real turn-on is remembering when you
    hadn’t. I know this isn’t what you had in mind.
    But don’t you find there’s an unexpected charm?
    To feel for a centre and wind up in the middle.

    —From CNQ 98 (Winter 2017)

     

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    CNQ Issue 114:
    Fall/Winter 2023


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